Aargh!!! Please Just Medicate Me Now!!!

OK - so this is just going to be a rambling post this evening as I am getting myself tied up in knots with this ridiculous OCD of mine.

I was just going to bed to chill out with my Kindle for a bit and get a super early night and had no intention of blogging at all.

Then (as so often does) a few little niggling thoughts came into my head reminding me that there are rather a lot of things that I need to get on with, so I thought I'd do the sensible thing and write them down and try to get myself a bit organised.

I'm figuring I should just have a catch all notebook to keep by me whenever I am using my computer at home to list things such as books to read, films to watch, recipes to try, quotes, Filofax ideas, stationery to try/buy, scrapbooking ideas, etc, etc.

The next thought to pop into my head is my neglected 101 list, I am in need of some motivation as my head has been filled up with work stuff again recently, with all the fun of yearend and a project that I'm working on (coupled with sick people at home).

Then I realised where I was writing all this down... was it in my trusty Filofax? No... and there begins the problem. My personal (as opposed to work) Filofax is currently a beautiful Holborn zip, so why was I not writing in there? Is it because when I'm just jotting down thoughts I write in my big, comfortable (sometimes illegible) style - and as I don't embrace this style generally, maybe I am not correctly equipped (big paper, wide lines... lots of space), or maybe I just want my babies to look gorgeous inside as well as out?

Oh well, my mind wasn't going to dwell on that for too long as I will be going to the UK next week where my Plannerisms planner is waiting for me (in Teal, yum!!!).  Time to think about how I will use each section of this to help me be more organised and calm (ha ha ha!!!). I have a list of what the set up is of the planner, so just need to figure out what will go where, but... and this is a BIG but, where did I write it down?

I have spent the last 10-15 minutes before sitting down here searching to find which notebook I have written it in (I only wrote it three days ago) - I thought it would be my Star Wars Moleskine (blog book and now internet notes from other people's articles), no, maybe one of the notepads in my Flex, no, in the notepad (Oxford Office Book ring bound, lovely paper by the way), no... and I'd already checked my Filofax, I have no idea where it is.

And why can I never find anything I have written down (unless it is already neatly available in my head, or already planned and written neatly into my Filofax)? ...because I can't bring myself to write just any old thing into my Filofax, or any of my nice notebooks, idiot!!!

I think it is now time to deal with this ridiculous OCD behaviour once and for all.

For now, any rough jottings that are required will either go in my Filofax (even thinking about doing that hurts right now) or in my black ring bound Oxford Office Book, until it is full (that idea is less painful, so may actually work). I'm going to try to embrace my larger writing (even in my personal filo, it's not like I keep much in it anyway so I have plenty of ring space).

Right, now I've got that off my chest I'm going to go back to bed, move all the stationery off it (you'd be amazed how much stationery needs to be sprawled across the bed just to use a BIC biro to write in one notepad), and read my Kindle. I am not going to have any more organisey thoughts until at least the morning...

God night all,

LJx